If I Stay
by BellaRose88
Summary: Bella Swan moves to Forks with her Aunt, after a tragic accident causing her parents death. Can Edward Cullen a student at Forks high school be able to heal her broken heart? Or will he only cause her more heartbreak? R&R Vamp/Human.
1. Chapter 1

It all happened so fast.

The deer flew straight into the windshield, glass shattering everywhere. May screamed. The car was sliding a crossed the icy ground, and then it was rolling, _we_ were rolling, and everything went black.

_Cold_. That was the only thing that awoke me. My whole body was shaking horribly because of it. I tried to sit up, to see where I was, but an excruciating pain shot through my right side, forcing me to lie back down. I lay there for a couple minutes. Paralyzed. Not just my body, but my mind. Everything was numb, non-responding, and in that moment it seemed like my whole body, my whole mind, had betrayed me. "Sorry Bella, I'm shutting down...it's too much" It seemed to say. I had never felt so alone then. Laying in the icy snow, unable to think, unable to move, just waiting for it to hit me. The only thing I could hear was the sharp uneven breaths I was taking, and my heart, thumping slower and slower. I knew then, I was going to die. No matter how numb and incoherent I was, I knew that. I stared into nothingness for minutes more until I started to slowly close my eyes; I was giving in to death. But suddenly a voice rang softly but extremely clear in my ears. "Carlisle, we have to help her" The beautiful voice pleaded.

"It may be too late, Edward" The other voice said

_**Edward**_

"_Try_" the other shot back.

I opened my eyes. And I was sure I had died minutes before and gone to heaven, because the eyes staring back into mine, were only those who could be owned by an angel, the deep goldenness of them, it wasn't the color of his eyes though, it was the warmth they spread through me when I looked into them.

I looked into his eyes. And suddenly, everything changed.

And then it went black again.


	2. Waking Up

I awoke to the bright lights of the hospital room. I squinted my eyes, trying to see, but also trying not to blind myself. Everything seemed so bright. I glanced around the hospital room, and my attention was quickly caught by someone sitting in the far end of the room. The lady was staring at me with a relieved expression, her eyes were swollen and tears were stained on her cheeks. Her short dark brown hair was everywhere and her glasses sat crookedly on her nose. It took a moment before realization hit, it was my Auntie Jenna. "Aun-"But before I could continue she was a crossed the room in a flash hugging me to her. I didn't continue, half shocked and half confused. She pulled away and new tears were streaming down her cheeks, "I'm so glad you're alive" She cried softly as she looked at me in disbelieving what was I, god? Of course I was alive. And then it hit me, not slowly but all at once. My stomach clenched and my head whirled. "There okay, right?" I asked, it didn't sound like my voice had spoken the question. It sounded too urgent, too babyish. Her whole face dropped, she just looked at me until she finally shook her head with a sob. I knew, they were gone.

Three months later...

I don't know how time passed. It seemed as though life in its self had frozen completely. I had moved In with my Aunt Jenna, in a small town called Forks. I can't say I loved Forks. I can't say I loved anything anymore. Aunt Jenna is a business woman, so she travels a lot. She promised me the minute I moved in though, that she wouldn't travel as much. I hated living with Aunt Jenna. I was a burden to her, and because of me she would be pinned down to taking care of a kid. I knew it was something she had to do, but that just made it worse. I live in the most gorgeous house. It's small and perfect. My room is upstairs and it has a balcony that looks out to the woods.

I cry every single night, I try to muffle my sobs by crying into the pillow but it doesn't help, because I know Aunt Jenna still probably hears me. I try not to, but it's so hard. I lay there on my bed and the memories all flood back to me, before the accident, the accident. It's like my own personal hell. Although I bought an I pod the other day, and the music helps. If I concentrate on the lyrics, it doesn't leave me much room to think about them.

And the hardest part is I don't want to forget them, but remembering them is too much pain to deal with.

Sometimes I remember lying on the icy ground that Saturday morning after the accident. I remember feeling so alone, like I do now, only 1000 times worse, and I remember knowing and almost hoping to die. And I also remember these eyes, these beautiful eyes looking into mine. And it was like my heart skipped a beat and revved into gear and my whole body said "I'm going to live, I'm going to live for those eyes" It was silly, and I probably imagined it, but it still gives me hope, even today. Though I start school tomorrow, and I'm dreading it.


	3. School Part 1

**A/N: Alrighty, so here is the 1'st part of chapter 3. :) I hope you like it!  
**

**BPOV**

Auntie Jenna doesn't usually cook, So when I woke up early this morning and smelt coffee and pancakes I knew something was up. I marched loudly down the stairs and sat down at the kitchen bar. "Good morning" Aunt Jenna said brightly sliding a plate of 3 buttermilk pancakes towards me. "What's all this for?" I yawned trying my best to sound enthusiastic. "First day of school" She gave me a teasing smile. I had almost forgotten. "Coffee?" She asked taking out two cups from the cabinet. "Um...sure" I replied sticking a fork full of pancake in my mouth. She poured the coffee into two mugs and slid one towards me. "So, are you excited for school?" She asked, she walked over to the counter and started cleaning a dish. Small talk with Auntie Jenna was a lot of work; I could never tell her how I was really feeling. One, because I don't think I could explain even if I wanted to, and two, because even though I lived with Aunt Jenna, I still felt like we didn't really have this connection, I mean, she had no choice but to take me in, and I love her for it, but I also hate that she has to waste half of her life babysitting me.

"Yeah, I am" I lied, and it didn't sound real at all. Along being the clumsiest person on earth, I wasn't the best liar, to put it lightly. Aunt Jenna kept scrubbing the dish even though it was obviously clean, I knew small talk was hard for her too no matter how nonchalant she acted like it was. I could tell something was wrong. She turned to me again "You don't have to be so closed off with me Bella, I know your still getting over the accident and I understand, I do, but, I'm trying to understand you" The words that came out of her mouth, shocked me completely. And left me with a rage of fury boiling in my chest. She didn't understand, she could never understand! Did she lose everything? Did she have to live with the guilt everyday knowing she was the only one who made it alive? Did she have to move to this stupid little town in the middle of nowhere? I clenched my teeth and waited a few minutes before I answered, I didn't want my anger to get into the way of things. For now, no matter how bad I was at it, I just had to act. "Aunt Jenna, you know I love you and I want to get to know you too, but...I just need a little time" I finally said, this sounded convincing.

I looked at my half eaten pancakes, and pushed them away, losing my appetite completely. She nodded her head and gave half a smile, but I could see the disappointment in her eyes. "I'm going to go get ready for school" I said, I knew I still had awhile but I had to get away from this situation. "Thanks again" I hugged her and walked back up the stairs, oddly feeling guilty.

After taking a shower and trying to tame my wavy dark brown hair, I walked over to my walk in closet with a groan, I hadn't exactly gone back for most of my stuff after the accident, I couldn't even stand to go into the house afterward, It was Auntie Jenna who grabbed some of my more valuable things and decided to just buy me a whole new wardrobe instead of bringing back my old clothes, It took a while trying to find what to wear in a cluster of new things, but I finally decided to wear a creme long sleeve V-neck and dark fitting jeans, I slipped on my black converses (one of the things I refused to leave behind) a black sweater, and grabbed my book bag from the post of my bed. I looked in the full length mirror one last time, my skin was oddly pale and not the skin that would belong to someone who used to live in the sweltering heat of Arizona, My eyes were too dark, and my lips were chapped and pink. But it wasn't until I really looked into the mirror until I saw the real problem.

The girl looking back at me was _not_ the girl who had lived in phoenix Arizona just months before. The girl looking back looked...sad, lonely, and completely lost. The girl was _not_ me. I wanted to be okay with it, to be okay with who I was now, to understand that things were different and I couldn't change myself, but I couldn't look away from the mirror, it felt like part of me would not accept that I had become this girl. I mean, a couple months ago I was still the shy, easy going Bella I still was now. But I had a family, I had friends, I hung out with the cooler kids, I got good grades, and guy's heads turned, but now, I was someone completely different. _I didn't do this to myself _I thought, _it was done to me_. The only thing that tore my eyes away from the mirror was Auntie Jenna's voice calling from downstairs "C'mon Bella, you're going to be late" She said loudly. "I'm coming" I told her, but it sounded like I was convincing myself more than her.

The drive to school was awkward. Aunt Jenna spoke of how I should have allowed her to get me a car, and I sat very quietly only answering with "Yeas'" and "I know" as her BMW glided easily under us and the heat blasted from the air vents. I concentrated on the rain dripping down the windows, trying to avoid the nervousness jumping around in my stomach. Just 5 minutes later Aunt Jenna stopped her car abruptly, "Where here" She said. I looked up suddenly and looked at the school. Students were everywhere, there were not many but too many all at once. The school was built with red bricks, and really didn't look like a school at all; if the sign at the front of the parking lot hadn't read "Forks High school" I wouldn't have known it was a school at all. I hugged my aunt quickly and thanked her for the drive, stumbling out of the car and clutching my book bag like it was some kind of safety blanket. I started toward a small building that read "front office" thinking it was the best place to start, and opened the door letting in a huge gust of cold air. The red haired lady at the front desk gave me a dirty look. I swallowed walking up to the desk. "Can I help you?" She asked with narrowed eyes. Great, one of the first people I meet here and they already hate me I thought. "Um, I'm Isabella Swan" I choked out. "Ah, yes" She grumbled shifting a couple papers on her desk until she found what she wanted, handing me two slips of paper. "That's your class schedule and a school of the map" She said in a bored tone pointing to the two pieces of paper I had taken. "Welcome to forks" But it did not sound welcoming at all. The phone rang loudly behind her desk. "Thanks" I said walking towards the door, even though she wasn't listening. When I opened the door I made sure to let a huge gust of cold burst right in, I'm pretty positive she shot me an evil glare as I closed the door behind me.

**A/N: I know it's a little all over the place, but I'm in Bella's mind set. Things will calm down, or will they? Stick around for some Edward POV, and review!  
**


	4. School Part 2

**A/N: Just a tiny bit of School Part 2, hard chapter. Enjoy.**

I tried my best to avoid the crowds of people gathering around the classroom doors, but it was nearly impossible. I managed to shove my way past most of the chatting teens in the hallway. Avoiding the awkward glances from almost everyone. In a school this small it would be very unlikely to not notice someone new. I focused on the classroom door ahead; my first class was math with Ms. Bishop. Math had to be one of my favorite subjects, math was simple, straightforward. _If only life could be like that_ I thought to myself. The hall seemed much too long, or maybe it was the way my head was spinning nervously, I clutched my books tighter in my arms. Only a couple steps now and I would be in the classroom, I took a deep breath. But I had been so focused ahead, that I didn't realize where I was walking. I collided with a tall girl, luckily I didn't go crashing down to the ground, but my books flew out of my hands spilling onto the hard tile floor. I turned my head quickly to look at her, an apology already forming on my lips, but as I turned to face her I couldn't do anything but gasp. The girl was beyond gorgeous, with a face that belonged in the hottest magazines, and a figure that made swimsuit models self conscious. She had light gold curls that waved down her back, flawless light, almost paler then me, skin, and dark auburn eyes. But before I could apologize, she simply glared at me, turned on her heel, and started to walk down the hall, her tall heels clattering against the tile.

I bent down trying to gather my books that were still on the floor. Luckily the scene didn't catch to many people's attention; I still was embarrassed though, and could feel the rosy blush warming my face to prove it. I felt the tears prick at my eyes. _This is ridiculous_ I thought to myself. I reached forward to get my biology book when I touched a cool hand instead. Everything inside of me froze. "Are you alright?" A velvety voice asked. Nothing could have kept me from looking up at him. The boy, more like man, staring right back at me was simply perfect. Every feature of his face sharp and instant, flawless pale skin, his bronze, unusual hair, wet with rain looked more like he had just shot a hair gel commercial instead, even his golden eyes held something intriguing that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I realized quickly that I wasn't breathing. "Oh, I'm fine, thanks" it came out in an awkward gasp. A hint of a smile played along his lips as he handed me my biology book. "I apologize for my sister's behavior, it was rather unnecessary" he murmured. He must have been talking about the blonde, I could see the resemblance in there absolute flawless features and light skin tone. I felt dizzy just looking at him. "No, really, it's my fault" I argued gently. It suddenly hit me that we were both still bent down on the ground in the middle of the hallway. I turned to see the final students walking into the math classroom. "I'm going to be late" I said in a rush "Thank you". His expression was oddly amused "Have a nice day" was all he said, and then he smiled, flashing a set of gleaming white teeth. My heart skipped a beat in my chest. I half ran to the classroom. Butterflies in my stomach, but not because I was nervous.

**A/N: Well, what do you think? Rosalie can't give poor Bella a break. Lots of surprises coming up. I'm absolutely exhausted and will update it tomorrow. *Review and I'll write more* :)**


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